I have always thought of myself very different from others. Not in the weird way or with the need to be better than them. Not always anyway.I guess I always just knew that my mind has always just thought through a lot and I never really knew why. As a child my interest were different from what other kids thought was interesting. I guess in this era I would call myself the awkward child then, some part of it still lingers now too. I ponder over a lot of things in my life and I have in so many aspects how I would want to live and how I would want my life to be. I love music. Probably a lot of other people do too. But I love music in a way that feels unexplainable to even myself. It takes me away in my mind where at that very moment and with each word and rhythm I feel more special than ever. Not the constant pain the strings in my heart pull, not the lack of a special someone to love even of the song has everything to do with a lover, a friend or foe. It’s just me and my music.
Music even at this very moment is my inspiration for this piece.How the words are put together to bring out such emotion is amazing to me. Music makes me feel good, special actually. Its an escape for me to be someone else, in someone else’s mind and virtual body. I sing along with them and see through their eyes. I see and feel the emotions they felt when they wrote the song and what was in their mind. For me music does all that.Music pushes me to lengths nothing else does. It makes me feel powerful,like I could walk on earth as whoever I want to be. I could own the world at the palm of my hands and be a life changer. I can escape the confinements of my body and free my spirit to the music. I fall in love in the music, I am special in my music. I don’t have to be the shy girl the world knows. I become bold in music and not hide who I am. I don’t have to hide behind curtains and curtains of power that I don’t always have. I feel vulnerable and love every bit of it. No covers, no secrets.
I can’t really say what brings me to my knees and brings out everything vulnerable out of me, but if I chose what I wanted to be my vulnerability ,Music can take me down anyway. ✌