#World Mental Health Day…

Today’s World Mental Health Day. I celebrate everyone who has ever struggled with any form or type of mental health issues. We are bombass people because no words can express how strong we are. I use we because I have struggled with mental health and it’s no secret for those who take time to read my blog post. I have probably never been as open with my struggles as I am here and I am proud of the progress I have made. So yeah, I just wanted to put it out there for everyone to know that for all out there who have experienced mental struggles are the strongest people because they don’t fight with something that’s external, it’s all inside.I haven’t written in a while. Not exactly sure why when I can actually say I have had quite the blog worthy experiences ,especially last week. I ain’t sure if it’s because they were actually non depressive experiences and that’s why I didn’t write about them or maybe I just didn’t see the need to write about them. Whatever the answer is, I will let you in on it anyway. So last Monday ,I had my very first cinema experience. Like it was my first time to go watch a movie in a cinema hall. It was okay and I enjoyed it. I got to watch a well awaited horror movie ‘The Nun’..it was definitely worth my while. Then on the next day, my sister and I finally visited the Giraffe Center. I say finally because we kept putting off that visit for a quite a while now and it took me going to the cinema on the previous day to motivate my sister to finally go and we had the best time. Giraffes are such poise ,gentle and beautiful animals. I enjoyed every bit of time I spent feeding them and taking pictures & seeing my sister look like a kid in a candy store just cause she could feed the giraffes with her mouth. To top my very eventful week, I had a friendly date and I got to go to the cinema again. Watched probably the most exciting Marvel movie { Venom } in 3d which made it so surreal for me, it being my first time watching a movie like that.Then later we had a nice dinner in a lovely cafe. I can clearly and boldly say I haven’t had that much fun in ages and it was well deserved. I was extremely grateful for all who made it so eventful and exciting for me. I can proudly say, I was happy .Apart from all the fun I had last week, I also got a breakthrough in my search for an attachment. October surely seems to be working out for me. I recently started this week. For those who know or if I may not have mentioned, I am a counseling psychology student and I recently just completed my first year doing my diploma. I have two more years to go. I got my attachment at a hospital near my place so it’s convenient for me . My working hours too aren’t as hectic and it’s all dandy. Or so it might seem. I am not okay with a lot of things surrounding where I am working and it’s not settling well with me. I would rather keep the name of the hospital anonymous just cause I don’t want to seem like am bashing it directly. I want to bash it indirectly. For starters, there is a lot I am yet to have knowledge on concerning the course I am taking. I literally have like ten to five percent of the knowledge I require to be in the field handling real life clients. I feel inadequate, inexperienced and downright wrong to be put out there to deal with clients facing real life problems and putting their trust in me, a complete amateur in my field. The department of counseling in that hospital looks like a piece of shit. It’s a plain cubicle with only a table and two chairs. For anyone who knows how a counselling room is meant to look, they know that the so called counseling room I’m situated in is a joke. That’s just among the things about the place that’s arking me out. I initially thought that since its school policy for me to get my attachment despite having one to zero knowledge of how to completely handle a client, I would at least be under supervision of some sort. I didn’t think I would have to handle a client all on my own. The supervisor to begin with is hardly ever there ,he wouldn’t have a clue if I missed work or not because he isn’t there to fucking monitor me and guide me like he is meant to be doing…I know I’m supposed to be ecstatic about the fact that I am under no supervision, I don’t have to be responsible for anything or anyone and I can get to spill the little to no knowledge I have to anyones problem as long as I am in the field with the fancy looking lab coats 🤦. I’m honestly frustrated and upset and I don’t want to stay there anymore when I have just been there for two days. You want to know why, I’ll tell you why… I have been on the receiving end of my job. I have been a client before and I still am because every damn day I don’t know if my mind will betray me and I will fall into my depression again. Mental health is beyond me and that goddamned hospital and nobody should be assuming it’s okay to throw an amateur to handle real life cases such as bipolar, suicide, schizophrenia and some real other shitty issues. I can’t just assume that whatever I will spill from my mouth should be good enough to help a client who probably thinks I have the answers to their problems and they trust me enough to be honest and truthful with them. I can’t do that because I would hate if it happened to me. I have gone through some real shit and if I trusted someone and was paying them to help me deal with it and they were spilling whatever came into their heads, I would wanna shoot them with a rifle before considering suing them. I didn’t even sign a confidentiality document to accertain that I wouldn’t spill my guts to anyone concerning the clients. Like the ethical standards of that hospital are pure and utter shit!!!!! The clients cases are filled in a book that looks a lot like a log book. Every client should have their private file and it should be safely kept, not stashed aside like just any other book. Everything about that place is so damn frustrating and I don’t want to be that person who throws everything under the bus just because I can. I love what I want to do and I want to do it right. I intend on seeing my therapist cause of it because I don’t want to feel what am feeling at the moment. I hope that whatever profession you pursue, you do it right. ✌


6 responses to “#World Mental Health Day…”

  1. Oh, wow! I am so utterly and phenomenally jealous of your time with giraffes. I adore them myself, and find them to be almost zen (most of the time).

    Here’s the truth, Love – you *can’t* have the answers for everyone. Everyone learns about their mental health differently, how deal with it, how to explain it, where to go in their recovery. The only one expecting full answers is you. Listen, be compassionate, ask questions, direct people to path options. Meditation, medication, working out, artistic expression… It’s all good.

    And yeah – maybe let your board of health know that your hospital isn’t exactly keeping this kind of treatment confidential or comfortable – anonymously if possible.

    ((hugs))

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