A girl has been bored. When am I never though⦠But despite everything else your caught up on, (#always your reliable depressive ), I donāt want to dwell on that as of now. Iām in too much of hyped up state to ponder over as of my current bestfriend & long time homeboy, depression. Iām gonna assume your curious on what has me feeling less forlorn than my usual state of being and from that assumption, Iām gonna share what has me feeling different. Youāre girlās been horny as hell (cue the audienceās laughter) ā¦like majorly to the degree Iām flikerāing my twickieā¦šš Thatās a statement I came up with two nights ago while keeping my sister company as she got drunk on a new alcohol sheād been meaning to try. We were sharing on our impending states of horniness and I told her how itās in my next budget to get a rabbit vibrator but Iāve got no idea where the moneyās gonna come from, ( PS. Iām taking willing donations to get a girl a vibrator, any amount will be appreciated š¤). So yeah, in the midst of that conversation, I came up with the statement flicker your twickie. What can I say, Iāve been on a journey of forced celibacy for quite a couple months now and it was bound to take a toll on me eventually. Truthfully speaking, I pride myself over how long I can go before giving into my bodyās urge to mate if I may call it so and I think this has to be that limit because I canāt help myself from needing some sort of release, (cue the major embarrassment ) but yeah, since I donāt have a man, the next best thing is a little playmate whoāll be utterly at my beck & call and whoāll Iāll not need to impress as much to get a little bit of pleasure from.
Whilst in the subject of partnership, I recently thought about the subject of having a Dominant again as a partner for myself. After such a while of me have stashed away the submissive in me from the front of my mind, she snuck back to remind me that sheās still there and that maybe she feels ready to make a gradual come back. After my last relationship as a submissive, I purposely took a step back from being in any sort of relationship, in regards to being in the normal kind of relationship or the Dom/sub relationship due to the matters of my ever loyal companion, my mental instability. Despite it all though, I have immensely missed the clarity and beauty that I feel as a submissive. The immense pleasure & thrill of it is a high thatās unmatched for me. Itās impossible to forget what itās like to have such care given to you by a Dominant worthy your submission. Iād be lying if I said the sexual connection isnāt among the bigger perks of why I miss being in a Dom/sub relationship. Therefore recently when I thought about it again, I pondered over whether I feel ample enough to take up the role of a submissive partner to a deserving Dominant. I went through a couple of internalized questions and just really delved deep on whether I feel like I can put myself back into that head space. Letās just say, I feel I may be ready for it but Iād have to make a few adjustments in concern to my mental health and whether the Dominant will be up for the task of handling me with all my luggage.
Entirely away from that, Iāve been meaning to seriously gush over a book I read recently that I canāt seem to get over just how incredibly wonderful & hilarious it was. Allie Broshās book Hyperbole and a Half is a book I didnāt realize just how much I needed to read. It brought me such joy & laughter. I read it in bed at two in the morning and I was laughing so hard, I started wheezing from it. Despite how short it was, it was an incredible read and Iād recommend it to anyone. I canāt forget to mention the imagery used in the book that accentuated itās hilarious nature all the more. The writerās sense of humor in the book had me wishing she could be my best friend. The book is mental health related and I loved how I was able to relate with her in some of her experiences with depression. The way she brought out her encounters with depression felt a lot like home for me due to the sense of familiarity & relatability. Hyperbole and a half will probably be among the best books Iāve had the pleasure of reading this year and Iād love to read more of Allie Broshās work.
In my spare time, apart from when Iām self loving & reading books, I recently started listening to podcasts as well. Through a girl I follow on social, I came across her podcast which I thought was super cool & insightful especially since the episode I listened to first had a touch of mental health to it. From listening to that episode, it made me wish that I had a friend who related on issues mental health & depression. Iād genuinely love to have someone by my side who understands what itās like to struggle with an invisible battle. Hell, Iād love to have a best friend who relates on being a fellow crazy and we can laugh at how badly we are done existing, in this life at least⦠So yeah, I loved listening to that podcasts, itās called The First Draft on Sportify and Apple Music if anyone would like to check it out. So yeah, Iām glad I got to rope you in on the better parts of my time bored and just in case anyone wants to be my friend, my one requirement is that youāre a touch of crazy and maybe a tad bit depressed too, for the days we both need to hurdle together in our depression š .
Writing ādominantā with an uppercase ādā and āsubmissiveā with a lower case āsā. is suggesting that youāre attracted to the vanilla variant of d/s, where the so called āsubmissiveā is actually calling the shots š
āWhen you canāt look on the bright side, I will sit with you in the dark.ā Thatās a great one (and no, it was not said by Alice). Thatās what friendship is all about.
Note: ādarkā seen as negative, bad, and evil, is yet another example of vanilla thinking š