Ever just had those life changing conversations with someone and found out how they truly feel towards a certain subject and all you’re left feeling is anguish because you now know what truly goes through their minds… I feel like that currently because I just had one of those conversations. I’m disappointed and hurt that in this day and age ,people and in this case ‘men’ still have such mediocre lines of thought concerning rape as something negotiable.
Time and time again, there have been discussions concerning rape and it’s baffling that till now, the male gender in this case still afford to think that there is a way around making rape slightly or closely not as vile and disgusting as it plainly is. I feel repulsed by the conversation I just had with someone I regarded as smart in such a sensitive issue but I couldn’t have been terribly wrong about him. In this case, the said person I was having a conversation with thought that flirting is reason enough to supposedly read between the lines and assume that it’s a sign of consent to have sex. His ego as a man wouldn’t allow him to read it just for what it is, simple flirting. He tried justifying that if a girl told him they spend time Netflix and chilling, it’s code word for come over for sex and no taking it back….in every aspect of our conversations, I felt disgusted to know that a person I considered a friend would think like that.
The stakes show that most men would probably agree with this one man because it’s undeniable to say that ‘Netflix and chill ‘ hasn’t before been used as an overlying meaning for sex. I don’t disagree with that, because it’s alright to have code words for sex as long as its still consensual between the parties involved. But nobody takes to account of the females who don’t have an underlying meaning to Netflix and chilling… Nobody ever takes time to think that it was just that, Netflix and chilling… That’s the world we live in, where one thing is fucking code for a whole different meaning 🙄.
In countless occasions, females are objectified and seen as mere objects if pleasure for men to seek satisfaction from. This is seen from the inequality women are given,the catcalls, the random spanking of women’s butts while walking and the interpretation of a woman’s answer as the opposite. Men all around are convinced that when a woman says no to a man, she is playing hard to get and therefore that’s the man’s cue to try coerce himself on the woman. I wonder what men would feel being coerced into doing something they are not concentual of??? Huh!!! Would they feel okay if women grabbed them by their balls while walking on the streets randomly because they are only seen as objects of pleasure and sex??? Would they be able to live through that with the shame and embarrassment it brings forth to the victims..???
I am a woman and being objectified doesn’t only degrade me as a person but it degrades everything I stand for as a female and as a naturer and a caregiver. This vile actions against women or the female gender in general should never be justified by saying or proclaiming that it’s the reality we are living. We change the reality we are living, we choose to treat females all over the world as humans and not objects. We are singular individuals capable of talking about the struggles faced in both genders without settling for the mediocrity that’s spread around that it should always remain like that .Sex requires consent, kissing requires consent, touching requires consent.There is no loop hole around this, there is no reading in between the lines and there sure as hell shouldn’t be forceful use towards either genders. Loop holes are just ways the assailant tries to soothe themselves into thinking the victim was okay with it even when they weren’t. Rape is in white or black, no colour in between and so are rapist. If she flirts with you but still says no to sex, leave If she says Netflix and chill with no intention behind it, leave if you expected otherwise. It’s a matter of choice to not rape someone.
We need to snap out of our bubbles of thinking women are just objects but instead view them as people worth helping the world. ✌🏿