1. I am grateful for my father and my sister who are both alive and doing well.
2. I am grateful for I have a shelter to sleep in and food to eat.
3. I am grateful that I have bed despite its discomfort. I am still grateful.
4. I am grateful for my family both nuclear and extended who are always there for me when I need them and who come through for my family in times of need.
5. I am grateful for finishing school and doing so while passing my exams greatly.
6. I am grateful for my health and both the health of my family and friends.
7. I am grateful for the chance I got at an internship. It was my first chance and I am grateful that it may go through.
8. I am grateful for this blog that reminds always that I am a talented writer and will only get better from here.
9. I am grateful my sister’s support and everything she does to keep me going. The words of encouragement, the pep talks, the feeding and everything. I cannot fully express how grateful I am for her.
10. Finally, I am grateful for life. On many occasions, it is easy for me to go down the rabbit hole that is suicidal thinking. I struggle often to find the meaning of life for myself but I know I need to constantly remember to be grateful for the life I have.
11. I am most grateful for my mental health. It was in the gutter and few months ago and doing better now. I am grateful for the antidepressants I have access to every month to get better.
Dear future lover,
There is so much I need to brief you on about myself and how rough it’s been for me before I met you. I don’t see much need to introduce myself to you because you will have enough time for that in the time I hope we get to spend together, hopefully for as long as my life is deemed worthy .
Can I be honest with you😐, I have really quite searched for you. I have created this image in my head of how I hope you turn out and how you will be just perfect for me. At this point, I feel like am at a dead end in this search for you though I know it’s still quite early for me to conclude that. I can’t wait to laugh it out with you as I tell you all about the guys I have met along the way thinking they were a possible match for you 😅. I truly hope you don’t turn out exactly as I have you in my head because if you do, you will be a fictional character and I need you to be real… I need you to be alive and well for me to finally love and share my life with.
I don’t walk around thinking we are going to meet each other and sparks will fly and I will feel an electric spark when I touch you for the first time. I gotta admit that if that’s a real thing ,a certain part of me wishes it does come true.. But again, I need reality with you so I know not to expect a Romeo and Juliet kind of love. I don’t expect you to be perfect for me at the start, I hope we grow to be perfect for each other instead. I hope that the outpour of our love will be so great, it will flow in torrents and our imperfections will mesh so well that we will just be me the two of us. Pardon my sappiness, I didn’t mean to be so revealing to the world of our future love. 😍
I already have the song I want to sing to you on our wedding day. Btw, I hope you love or at least like Beyonce because you will be hearing a lot of her when with me. I even hope to cristen our first night as your wife to Rocket. Also just to give you a heads up, I really do hope our paths cross soon cause I want us to have a family just as soon. For so long in my mind I have been so selfish with my intentions of when I get my first child. I can tell you now that it will be the greatest joy of my life to bring a child into this world with you .Not so long ago i had given up on waiting to meet you and I was willing to get a child with the wrong man just so I could sate my need for a baby but I chose to wait. I realized it would have been selfish of me to expect you to just accept someone else’s child when they could have been yours from the very start. I truly hope I choose right and I know you will be an amazing dad..
To summarize this letter, I wanna let you in on a little bit of how I will probably be when you first meet me. I will be very skeptical of you and your intentions from the very start. I hope we start as friends before we take a dive into the deep end. I also then might just be probably dating a douche bag when we meet so I expect you to save me from him😁. I have no clue where we will meet, under what circumstances we will meet or whether I will even like you to begin with. It’s just how fate works I guess but I do want to make you a promise which I so often don’t do, I promise you to stop looking for you so hard and stop looking for you in every Tom, Dick and Harry. I will wait for you or for when nature chooses to bring as together. I hope our love endures every mile stone, every challenge life throws at us and everything else that we might not anticipate for then. I hope we learn to forgive each other because I can’t promise you I won’t fail you in more ways than one and that you won’t do the same to me. But through all of it, I hope we pick each other up with love and immense affection & care.
Your future wife. 💏