I am because you were 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

So Mother’s Day is coming up tomorrow. I never really have paid attention to the day ever since after six years ago .I guess when you don’t have that physical aspect of the person to whom the whole celebration is for, the least you can do is wish them in your heart.This time I guess the nostalgia is a little bit more for me to hold down and I can feel the void that I try so hard to escape pushing up my throat.

I am jealous of everyone who has their mothers with them.That aspect of life that seems so natural to so many people of having their mothers with them is not natural to me.I guess i can’t blame anyone who doesn’t kiss the ground their mothers walk on or wake up everyday and just enjoy the warmth of a mothers hug.I can’t have that anymore, I haven’t had that for the past five years and six months. I miss her more than I can comprehend sometimes. I don’t talk about her to anyone, it’s hard enough with my own family. I do so because it hurts to remember her absence and I want to keep her memories personal, just for me and her to know.

I could rattle about what I wish would have been but again I don’t talk about my mother because it’s my memories and feelings to keep but this time I want her to know that she is always a part of me that will never leave. My heart isn’t big enough to accommodate the world because my better half is in heaven. Mother’s Day is special because it’s a day designated entirely for mothers alone but everyday is mothers day for me because I have my mother in mind and at heart everyday. But this time, I will make her special not just for me but for the world to know that she is always going to be there. My guardian angel. “I feel you always. I feel when you are probably scolding me in your mind about the wrong choices I make sometimes but you never leave me. You always keep your promise to be there for me and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I would trade everything to feel your hands once more and breathe in your scent again. Have you embrace me so tight and bring back the little girl you left behind who didn’t have to deal with the world on her own.I love you more everyday and miss you so much. I have wished to be reunited with you but I have to unfortunately wait for my time. Thank you for being my light in every dark tunnel I go through. Thank you for giving me life and bringing me into this world. I couldn’t have asked for a better blessing for a mother because I didn’t only get a mother, I got an angel.I am because you were.”