Pissful Grave

Do you really know what someone next to you is feeling? Do you understand the lengths of what their thoughts are and why they act a certain way? Do you understand what’s going on in their minds? Answer to all those questions is no. What if the person tells you what they are feeling. Or what’s in their minds and why they plaster smiles on their faces or why they scowl. It supposed to mean something to you and it’s supposed to spike something from you. It makes you accountable. Not for what the person may do to others or themselves, you become accountable just because you knew. If I took a gun to my head and a pulled the trigger,with my friends knowing that I asked for help or told them I was not mentally okay, are they accountable to hate themselves for not being good friends and asking why and how they could have helped before my last result was killing myself? Ask yourself that, are you a friend or a good friend, do you care enough or do you just care?I am learning my friends and those who are good to me, I am learning those who would probably weep on my grave and those whose tears would feel a lot like piss. Something tells me my grave would be draining a lot of piss. Sadly. P s. Next time I ever open up about my depression and anxiety to anyone, I’d rather you don’t say anything at all than tell me “it’s going to be okay“or “it takes time”. I don’t think I have it in me to listen once more.