A Letter to my future lover.. 💏 💑

Dear future lover,

There is so much I need to brief you on about myself and how rough it’s been for me before I met you. I don’t see much need to introduce myself to you because you will have enough time for that in the time I hope we get to spend together, hopefully for as long as my life is deemed worthy .

Can I be honest with you😐, I have really quite searched for you. I have created this image in my head of how I hope you turn out and how you will be just perfect for me. At this point, I feel like am at a dead end in this search for you though I know it’s still quite early for me to conclude that. I can’t wait to laugh it out with you as I tell you all about the guys I have met along the way thinking they were a possible match for you 😅. I truly hope you don’t turn out exactly as I have you in my head because if you do, you will be a fictional character and I need you to be real… I need you to be alive and well for me to finally love and share my life with.

I don’t walk around thinking we are going to meet each other and sparks will fly and I will feel an electric spark when I touch you for the first time. I gotta admit that if that’s a real thing ,a certain part of me wishes it does come true.. But again, I need reality with you so I know not to expect a Romeo and Juliet kind of love. I don’t expect you to be perfect for me at the start, I hope we grow to be perfect for each other instead. I hope that the outpour of our love will be so great, it will flow in torrents and our imperfections will mesh so well that we will just be me the two of us. Pardon my sappiness, I didn’t mean to be so revealing to the world of our future love. 😍

I already have the song I want to sing to you on our wedding day. Btw, I hope you love or at least like Beyonce because you will be hearing a lot of her when with me. I even hope to cristen our first night as your wife to Rocket. Also just to give you a heads up, I really do hope our paths cross soon cause I want us to have a family just as soon. For so long in my mind I have been so selfish with my intentions of when I get my first child. I can tell you now that it will be the greatest joy of my life to bring a child into this world with you .Not so long ago i had given up on waiting to meet you and I was willing to get a child with the wrong man just so I could sate my need for a baby but I chose to wait. I realized it would have been selfish of me to expect you to just accept someone else’s child when they could have been yours from the very start. I truly hope I choose right and I know you will be an amazing dad..

To summarize this letter, I wanna let you in on a little bit of how I will probably be when you first meet me. I will be very skeptical of you and your intentions from the very start. I hope we start as friends before we take a dive into the deep end. I also then might just be probably dating a douche bag when we meet so I expect you to save me from him😁. I have no clue where we will meet, under what circumstances we will meet or whether I will even like you to begin with. It’s just how fate works I guess but I do want to make you a promise which I so often don’t do, I promise you to stop looking for you so hard and stop looking for you in every Tom, Dick and Harry. I will wait for you or for when nature chooses to bring as together. I hope our love endures every mile stone, every challenge life throws at us and everything else that we might not anticipate for then. I hope we learn to forgive each other because I can’t promise you I won’t fail you in more ways than one and that you won’t do the same to me. But through all of it, I hope we pick each other up with love and immense affection & care.

With love,

Your future wife. 💏

Who needs time?? 🙄 Un -Valentinesing

So my ass is totally single this Valentine’s Day and it doesn’t seem to help that I keep seeing stuff and people’s plans for Valentine’s everywhere on my phone & social. I am jealous, totally😐!! Enough of trying to show that I wouldn’t prefer having a partner to spend the day with and have those lovey dovey moments with and later seal the night with some intense love making. I may come off as a strong feminine comfortable on their own but even with all that, I still want some company and affection. So this years Valentine is gonna find me indoors in the downers club. All single loners are welcome to join me….(p. s Am no longer a Debbie Downer, I got myself some Valentine’s plans and I can’t wait for it.)

I just got off from a relationship not so long ago though it’s been a while now… I realise most times, we females feel the need to not express our need to have a partner or boyfriend reason being it’s believed men are the ones meant to do the chasing or whatever that bullshit entails🙄.Especially after a girl comes out of a relationship, in most times you realize the girl says she needs to take some time off guys so she can figure things out. Well, news flash, I’m not one of those girls. I have been that girl for so long, as long as five minutes ago but I was only that girl to the rest of the world and not to myself. I say this because the minute I ended my last relationship, I fucking knew what I wanted in the next relationship I would be in. I’ve been telling my friends who ask me whether I’m interested in dating any time soon and I keep lying by saying am ‘taking some time off’ to enjoy ‘solitude ‘🤥…well, I don’t need time to enjoy solitude. I’m not out to rush into another relationship but it doesn’t mean I am closing myself to the idea of it just cause I recently left one.

I feel that the female generation now shouldn’t be closed off from the idea of speaking out their minds and what they want from life. Right now I can damn sure as hell say I want to fall in love with a man who brings out the beautiful being that I know I am. To be my partner and companion. To be my lover and best friend. I am a great sap for romance and I am choosing not to allow myself any lesser than I deserve just cause the rest of the world deems its so. Someone asked me why am so open with talking about my sexuality and what I like and I told them am learning what it is I like and sex just happens to be one of those things. I still respect the sanctity of it, I’m just choosing to not see it as an embarrassment since its not.

I have not mentioned this to many but I have been crushing on someone but it’s now fizzling slowly into nothing. He made me feel special for a while and I thought that he probably sorta felt the same but now I realize he doesn’t and I am okay with that. Its a bummer but we move on. It proved to me he wasn’t the right one and I wasn’t about to settle for someone who wasn’t good enough for me. I have been there, done that. Just cause he didn’t see it, doesn’t mean I ain’t gonna grow feelings for someone else is it??? Exactly my point. Goodnight ✌.